this is a compillation of stories by my brother (no they're not mine...) about his life as a waiter... he doesn't have an account here, but i asked if he would let me share this with all of you here in my journal (cause it's not mine and cause of the submission policy) for everybody to have a good laugh...

oh, while you're reading this, ignore the blantlant use of attacks from most of the games he plays...

(The scenarios you are about to read about are completely fictional and any resemblance is purely coincidental… unless of course a certain “Qu” says that it really happened…)

Customer scenario.
1. Customer comes into shop and starts choosing what he/she wants. After choosing, customer heads to cash register to pay.

• A good customer will count the total amount and give exact change
• A better customer who doesn’t have exact change will give slightly more but apologizes for any inconvenience caused.
• An even better customer will say keep the change.
• The best customer will hand a more than double of what is required and say keep the change.
How the customer can change from good to bad…
• Takes 2 items that cost RM1 written on the item itself each, bring it to the counter and ask “how much?”
• Takes selection finds that cash at hand is not enough and ask “can give discount or not?”
• Says “keep the change ya filthy animal”
• Gives more than required and says “keep the change… April’s fool!!!” (This particular customer gets an atomic wedgie…)

2. Customer comes into shop looking (window shopping). Potential customer then asks certain questions about items in shop.

• Good customer will say thank you for your time or something to the same effect if he or she is not buying anything.
• A better customer will say “alright. You’re quite a promoter. You’ve convinced me. I’ll buy.” Takes his/her selection pays and says “thank you”
• An even better customer will say “take me to your boss. I want to tell him what a good salesperson you are” (yeah right!)
How the customer can change from good to bad…
• Leaves the shop without so much as a thank you.
• Will take his/her selection, take it to the counter, leave it there, finds that there’s something more interesting somewhere else and leaves selection where it is.
• “Take me to your boss. I want to ask him why you are an incompetent idiot and have you replaced with a hot, leggy, blonde supermodel/ tall, dark and handsome hunk.” (This particular customer gets ‘Everybody’s/waitress’s Grudge’ed)

3. Eatery is filled to the maximum (or almost) and all the waiters are busy with everyone’s orders, giving them their orders in turn.

• Good customer will wait patiently for food to arrive.
• A better customer will decide that they’ll cancel their order if it has not been made yet and come back later.
• An even better customer will say, “Do you need any help?”
• An even better still customer will take out his/her apron, don the eatery’s uniform (if any) take an order form and take orders while still maintaining his/her secret identity as a former waiter/waitress.
How the customer can change from good to bad…
• Will ask every waiter/waitress that passes by whether his food will come anytime soon and that he’d been waiting for over 2 hours. (Two minutes can seem long when you’re hungry though…)
• Will start swearing at anything that moves…
• Will start his/her sentences with “When I was your age…”
• Will say “this place is slow on service… if it weren’t for the pretty waitresses (fondles passing waitresses behind). (REALLY BAD CUSTOMER) (This particular customer gets ‘Diamond Dusted’)

4. Three old Ah Sohs from Singapore walks into a particular shop in Malacca. They are shopping for ‘Kuih Bangkit’. They ask for a sample to try, each person taking a piece from a jar that contains a limited amount of the kuih…
Old lady #1: Eh, this kuih, not bad huh?
Old lady #2: Okay onlylah. My aunty can make better tasting ones. (Takes another piece)
Old lady #3: Really hah? (Takes another piece). How’s the taste?
Old lady #2: Just like this, but with an extra floury taste, less santan is used and size also smaller. (Takes yet another piece)
Old lady #1: are you sure? Really got such a good kuih bangkit ah? (Another piece)
Old lady #2: yes, and I’m sure that its cheaper than here. (Another…) (Turns to handsome, young, slim and slim cashier) how much for one jar?
Cashier: only RM 12, ma’am.
Old lady #2:humph. My aunty make is cheaper. (Another)
Old lady #3:how much she make? (Hands empty jar to cashier and takes an unopened jar and proceed to devour it.)
Old lady #2: cheap only… only S$12. And 1 virgin sacrifice. (Takes another)
Old lady #1: wah… so cheap one ah? Eh, I want to order, can?
Old lady #2: can… come, if we go now, before the full moon wanes, we can pay her until then.
Old lady #1 and #2: okay… lets go. (Dumps half devoured jar behind.)

Cost of kuih bangkit eaten for free; RM 5. Amount of sales made since 3 old ladies entered shop; Rm –5. Watch cashier turn big and green and mutilate cash register with effigies of old ladies on it; priceless…
There are some things money can buy. For stress, requirements of two packets of paracetamol at one go and nightmares, theres always Singapore ah Sohs…
(gomen, some parts I got carried away…) please note that not all Singaporeans are like that, and some of them are very nice. Its only when they find the price too expensive, cranky from a long bus trip or are tired of other Singaporeans…

5. Scene form eatery: customer walks in, pulls out chair and sits down…
Neutral customer: orders food, waits for food and eats food. When done, pays for food, while pushing chair back in.
• Good customer: good customer will order food, wait for food while enjoying some idle chatter with waiter/waitress, eats food, and pays for food while complimenting how delicious the food was.
• An even better customer will do the same as above while tipping waiter/waitress. (I love to dream, don’t I?)
• A better still customer will say “thank you” when he/she is done. (Remember, politeness counts, especially for someone who has a bad day serving many customers, not all of whom are as polite…)
How the customer can change from good to bad…
• Will order food, wait for it, and say that it wasn’t what he/she ordered, and ask to change to another one, when in truth, he/she DID order it…
• Will decide that he/she does NOT want to eat there after all, and goes out…
• An even worse customer will do same as above, but leaves garbage all over… (This particular customer gets whacked by a broom, only if he/she were still in the shop…)
• Worse still, the customer who hasn’t eaten yet will have the energy to pull chair from different tables, wait for food to come, eats and gets energy back and DOESN”T BOTHER PUSHING CHAIRS BACK IN…
• Will order food that cost RM 2 that is stated in bold, italic and underlined in the menu and still ask “how much?”
• Will start a ruse to get free food, like the infamous dead roach tech. (this particular customer gets hit with a Paladin tech: subdue)
6. Person walks in saying that he/she needs to ease bladder…
• A good person will change job from person to customer by buying things.
• A good person will change job to understanding person by turning of the lights when done.
• A good person will change job to polite person by saying “thank you”
• A good person will change job to good person by cleaning up mess made in toilet.
• A good person will change job to good and polite customer by doing all of the above. (This particular is about as rare as finding 2 Ultimate Weapons in the same Final Fantasy game…)
How the customer can change from good to bad…
• A bad person will change job from person to bad person by leaving shop without a thank you…
• A bad person will change job to ingrate by leaving toilet lights on when they were of due to a high electric bill.
• A bad person will change job to unhygienic by not cleaning up after they are done.
• A bad person will change job to VERY unhygienic by not flushing. (Sorry if you were eating curry…)
• filching three feet of toilet paper from toilet. (This particular customer gets Lion Heart, Omnislash, Triple Raid, Delta Attack, Boulder Dash, Crimson Star Road, Shinkuu Hadou Ken, and Darkness Strike. TAKE THAT YOU %$*&^%!!!)

hi everybody!!

yes- i'm still alive..
no- i didn't abandon DA...
yes- i've been busy..
yes- it was mostly uni work..
no- it wasn't anything personal..
yes- i'm still drawing... (if anybody actually wants to know)
yes- i'll be submiting soon
no- it isn't what i normally submit (surprisingly...)
no- i can't submit it today (cause i friggin forgot *kills self*)
yes- it should be nice.. (else i wouldn't submit...)
yes- there are more to come (if you actually want to see..)
no- i don't think i have anything else to say...
yes- i'm done!

there... i've answered what i thought might be on your mind... now add your own questions...

oh by the way, i'm thinking about submitting my own home-made quiz again... tell me what you think...

gahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! it's already one year since i joined DA.... i feel old....

anyway, to all those who have been following my progress, no matter how little.. i thank all of you.

now if ever any of you who actually read my journal want to bash me (verbally of course!... i still want to live) about my art, go right ahead. wherever i can improve just say so. i can take critism... maybe it's cause i can't see you that make me take it like an adult...

i'll probably get myself a few stuff to help me with my art... among them a scanner, a tablet and photoshop.... yes, i'm photoshop illiterate... no matter as long as i want to learn then there's no stopping me.... except that big pile of work i'll get when the semester starts... any way, thanks for reaching this part of my journal... hontou ni doumo arigatou!

okay, i don't have anything constructive to say. i just think it's time to update this journal of mine . uh, if anyone of you were hoping for some funny quiz like last time, sorry no idea what kind of quiz to do. any ideas? oh rin? get my journal link out of your journal... now! it's getting stale.

on the lighter note, i found somebody with a scanner i can borrow! that means i can sumit my deviations again that would bring my deviation total up by....three... okay so i wasn't that dilligent in drawing.... no idea what to draw... any ideas? oh rin? if you give me any strange suggestions, i swear i'll jinchu you till next tuesday(whatever that means...)

i've been on holiday for a month already and i still haven't found a job.... the new semester starts in july so i'm bored stiff.... don't get me wrong, the holidays are fun. i'm just bored out of my head.... i need something to do... any ideas? oh rin? refer to second paragraph before you say anything.

For those of you who are coming to the end of the semester, there is only one more hurdle left to go.... EXAMS!
on the lighter note, this is something I cooked up for everyone who has to take exams.... (that would be everyone... ) so just read it if you want and let reality kick you in the shins....

1. You look at exams as?
a. a way to test youself against others, as a chance to improve.
b. the bane of your life, you never have time....
c. exams? never thought of it....
d.the only way to prove that you're better than anybody else... hah!

2. How does yourstudy table look like?
a. a war zone... you can't find anything!
b. overflowing with notes.... can't have too many of that...
c. neat, orderly, and everything where you can find it.
d. study table? oh you mean that place where i keep hearing that wierd sound? i think something's living there....

3. Your devotion to studies?
a. you know, i think this doodle would make a great deviation...
b. it's all really last minute, you know?
c. it's ok, i get my work done then i rest...
d. maniacal. don't bug me now!!! i have got to STUDY!!!

4.How are you eating?
a. like usual, lots of vegetables, plenty of water....
b. whatever's in reach when i'm studying...
c. lots of memory boosters.... plenty of fish (brain food)....
d. hey, look that happy meal toy looks neat, let's eat there.

5. Your exam timetable?
a. written and colour-coded in your planner, organizer, ......
b. written down neatly and placed in a place where you can see it.
c. written hastily and stuffed in god-knows-where...
d. timetable? i always ask my friends before the next paper...

6.You're supposed to be studying but you catch yourself drawing....
a. hey, you need a break from studying you know!
b. feel guilty and stop imediately.
c. the eye is off again, i'll have to fix that...
d. drawing? while studying? you must be joking!

7. It's 1 in the afternoon and your mother calls. Where are you?
a. in the library. i've been here since it opened.
b. who called?
c. having lunch. just finished some revision.
d. in bed cause i studied till 6 in the morning?

8. If you didn't sleep last night it would be because?
a. i'm too busy studying.
b. i always study until my roommate gets back, to make sure i study more that her... funny, she didn't come back last night....
c. an emergency, or some idiot turned the radio on too loud...
d. playing DMC3... Dante rocks!!!

9.Your friend asks if you're stressed... you reply....
a. exams are important, yeah sure i'm stressed.
b. no, not really, i mean who'd be stressed out about the thing that can alter your life huh!!!????
c. stressed!? of course i'm stressed!!! i'm not done yet!!!!
d. stressed? about what?

10.When you can't cram anymore, what do you do?
a. cram anyway, i'm still not done studying!
b. stop, take a break and then continue.
c. man that show was good. did i forget something?
d. can't cram anymore!? no way! that memory booster was supposed to help!!!

11. What do you do the night before your exams?
a. get a good night's sleep to face the big day.
b. continue cramming... still not done...
c. i can't lose to the guy/gal in answer b!
d. man this deviation is good! can't wait to submit.

12. What about your stationery?
a. whatever that i grab in the morning before the exam.
b. pilot G2 pens, exam regulated 2B pencils, nothing but the best!
c. whatever that my friends are willing to lend me.
d. good ballpoint pens, my lucky mechanical pencil, luck never hurts...

13. If you could, where would you sit in the exam hall?
a. at the back so that i can see if anybody finishes before me.
b. in the middle or near the window, wherever the lighting is good
c. wherever i can sit after coming in late....
d. near the door for escape or near that cute guy/ girl...

14. You did well in you math test because?
a. luck?
b. constant practise and revision
c. my personal tutor... duh!
d. lets see... 2 Detective Conans is RM (ringgit Malaysia) 4.50x2, Flame of Recca RM4.50, oh look Kotaro Makari Tooru is out! that's RM4.30, hey that magazine that i want! RM 4.20 that would be RM 22.00.... oh yeah, my bro said that he's going to pay me back for the Conans, so i'll shell out RM13.00....

15. It's the last 10 minutes to the exams....you are...
a. not stopping till i top that guy next to me. he wrote one page more than me!
b. go away, don't bug me now, i have the best ideas at the last minute...
c. ooh, this doodle'd make a great deviation....
d. finished and checking my paper again, just to be sure.

Okay, that's all folks. how did you do? check your score here.

A B C D
1. 2pts 1pts 0pts 3pts
2. 1 3 2 0
3. 0 1 2 3
4. 2 1 3 0
5. 3 2 1 0
6. 2 1 0 3
7. 3 0 2 1
8. 1 3 2 0
9. 2 3 1 0
10. 1 2 0 3
11. 2 1 3 0
12. 1 3 0 2
13. 3 2 1 0
14. 1 2 3 0
15. 3 1 0 2

Your score:
36-45 points: you are a "kiasu"(a person who's afraid of losing)... a kiasu? no way! of course not! by the way, i got 44 points. did anybody get higher than me?

23-35 points: wow, you can really manage your time. you'd do really great wherever you are. i envy you. by the way, you're probably the only one who'd finish reading this.... really? nah, time to continue my studies...

11-22 points:
YOUR EXAMS ARE TOMORROW AND.... they are? OH MY GOD THEY ARE!!!!! why am i still online?! I GOTTA STUDY!!!

0-10 points:
HELLO?! EXAMS?! DO YOU... hey this deviation looks good! too bad the eye's not the same....

There you go a realllllllllllly wacky quiz, not meant to insult anybody or anything.... no offence, ok? if you think this resembles you it's not because i know you, it's because there are too many people like us. Yes, me too. ok time to study... my exams are tomorrow and.... Oh My God! TOMORROW!? I'm dead! oh hey.... this deviation is good........

ps. sorry for so many edits, they kicked me off the computer before i was done and then i couldn't get on earlier...... Gomen.